Question:

I am 55 and want to know why I sometimes crave sex and other times could care less. Is this normal for people my age?

Answered by OB-GYN Mary Kinyoun, MD, and urologist Christopher Deibert, MD:

Women and men commonly have a lower sex drive, or libido, as they age. Approximately 40% of women and 30% of men worldwide experience sexual dysfunction at some point in their lives. This includes persistent, recurrent problems with sexual response, desire, orgasm or pain. 

During menopause, estrogen levels lower in women, which can cause vaginal dryness, decreased energy and mood changes – all of which impact sex drive. Similarly, as men age, their testosterone levels decrease. This can lead to low energy, decreased sex drive and difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, also known as erectile dysfunction.

Daily stressors, relationship concerns, physical pain and underlying health issues, such as untreated anxiety, depression, heart disease or high blood pressure, can also impact sex drive. On the flip side, some medications used to treat these conditions can decrease sexual desire and function.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to increase your sex drive naturally:

• Make sure you're getting enough sleep 
• Incorporate stress management techniques, such as yoga, tai chi or meditation 
• Talk with your partner about your sexual preferences
• Use lubricants to reduce dryness and friction
• Try adding sex toys to spice things up
• Plan date nights and spend more time on foreplay
• Schedule sex to give you time to get in the mood

In some cases, lifestyle changes are enough to improve your libido. For those who need it, treatment is available for:

• Bleeding or pain during sex
• Vaginal dryness
• Erectile dysfunction
• Ejaculatory dysfunction, including premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation and anejaculation or no ejaculation
• Low testosterone
• Peeing during sex
• Sexual changes due to medication

Being able to talk openly about your sexual preferences and desires is important for your sexual health. If you and your partner are struggling to be physically intimate, consider consulting a doctor or certified sex therapist to discuss strategies to improve libido. If there's something you're too embarrassed to ask your doctor, you can ask us here.